Cheer Up: It's Christmas! “17”

Feeling down in the dumps because you've just realized that there are only three weeks left until Chrimbo, and you haven't actually gotten anything for anyone yet? Me too.

Ahh well, never mind. Christmas is all about family, and I'm sure mine will appreciate that when I tell them I haven't bought them anything.

Yeah, right.

How to use the Internet for your own seedy pleasure

Why not cheer yourself up with a few of my picks from the internet during this festive season?
Virgin Mobile are doing some brilliant stuff with religion and flash. Hitler's is becoming a respectable disco-führer. Sign up to the fabulous Popbitch email newsletter, full of very, very, very funny stuff (and far better than any of those magazines). Finally, buy yourself (or someone you love dearly) some Ballsies for Christmas.

17 Comments ~ Post a Comment

Blogger pirate_freak: Mom- "What do you want for Christmas, honey?"
Kid- "I want Ballsies!"
Mom- "What are Ballsies?"
Kid- "They're testicles you wear as a neclace!"

Yeah, thats what i want for Christmas.

Blogger Fin: Mum-"Oh, alright then"

Blogger Kevin: Nice, Fintan. I liked the subtle Mom -> Mum conversion that was going on there.

Blogger Fin: It was deliberate. I want you to KNOW that it's Mum, and Mom sounds oh-so-strange when I (or anyone else with anything other than an American accent) says it.

Blogger pirate_freak: See, over here, "mum" is a flower, not the woman who gave birth to you.

Fintan- "You silly Americans!"

Blogger Fin: lol Yeah well over here "mom" isn't a word so much as it is a brutal typing mistake. ;)

Blogger pirate_freak: Mum is a flower that Kindergardners plant at shool to give to their "mums" on Mothers Day. Do you call it motheres day or mummers day?

Blogger Fin: It's Mother's Day, but when we say it, it tends to sounds like "muther's", because "moffers" (phonetic) doesn't sound too appealing.

Blogger Kevin: Yeah, we pronounce it "muther" which is why it's still strange that we say "mom".
Actually, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, it's short for "mama". Do you Britons use that word? I can't imagine that you say "mumma" - that's quite illiterate. "Mama" either would mean "mother" or, in a vulgar sense, "wife" or "woman". It's also important to note that "Mama" is "a name under which Ninkhursag was worshipped". MOM also stands for "middle of month", in case there was any ambiguity there.
Isn't the English language fun? (Here is where any self-respecting Briton would say - "Correct - and it's our language, not yours! English language, understand?" And I would become livid and we would get into a brawl. Neither would win, and, therefore, we both empezaríamos de hablar español. And life would be good, albeit confusing, since neither of us would speak a word of Spanish. Oh well.)

Blogger Kevin: And if you don't know what a "your mom" joke is, I'm sorry to hear that. Inform yourself here.

Blogger Fin: "Your mom is so dense not even intelligence can escape her." - Aaah. Godda love it!

In Ireland it seems to be mam or mammy, which sounds really good in an Irish accent, but certainly not in any other.

"That?s quite illiterate" - that made me physically laugh out loud.

Over here "mum" also stands for keep it shut, in the idiom (ooh, use the idiom website I posted) "mum's the word", which could also be used in the phrase "keep it mum".

It is, however, a very old saying which only old people tend to use. If one if my friends from school said that to me I would literally say WTF, because it would sound sooooo strange.

Blogger Kevin: Oh, that's an American idiom, as well.
Although I can imagine the old 80's British comedy shows that they play on TV:
"Once you've turned off the lights, Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt, but mum's the word."

Blogger pirate_freak: I hate those "your mom" jokes! it's like, "Thats a cool shirt." "YOUR MOM!" they are so stupid!!!1

Blogger Fin: Lol yeah I think I saw that one, Kevin :D

Sparrow, they're funny because they're stupid, lol. Yomama! :D

Blogger pirate_freak: WHAT ABOUT MYMOMMA?!?! I'm just kidding.

That's why I don't like them, because they are so stupid. I just can't stand them. Plus some kid said that my mom was so fat, she couldn't even walk through a door, and then said the same thing about my grandmother, and that little bastard made me cry.

But that's in the past.

Something in the present, though, an eighth grader that went to my school and some tenth grader that went to my sisters school were shot and killed recently. Apparently, they were a part of a gang that another gang resented, and they were shot in a drive by. the next day, almost my whole grade was crying the whole day. They had to send people home because they couldn't stop crying.

But that is just too sad a subject to be talking about this close to Christmas! I cannot wait! Can you guys keep a secret? On the first day of Christmas Break, my mom is going to bleach my hair blonde, then, two weeks later, she is going to dye it Ruby Red!

Sorry, this whole comment was pointless. Oh, well. at least I wasted someone's time!!!


Blogger pirate_freak: I am complicated...

Blogger pirate_freak: ...and wierd.

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