That theme being crudeness, I think I'd like to share a short story I found with you from B3TA. Ahh, b3ta.

I remember this like it was yesterday (even though it was about 12 years ago). I was bashing away in my living room to the video to Come Baby Come by K7, with my parents in the next shitting room, fer chrissakes (this must have been during my 'horny as a dog' phase). My mum walked in, I covered my shame with a nearby cushion and hoped that she didn't notice. But she did.

Only she didn't think I was wanking. If she did, the story wouldn't have been half as bad. No, she thought I had taken a biscuit from the kitchen, and thought she'd engage me in a bit of jovial tug of war with the cushion covering my rapidly shrinking penis. This went on for about 30 seconds, her laughing as she tried to shed light on my supposed theft, me terrified I'd flash my mum and she'd find out I was flogging the horse to a music video.

Eventually, she noticed the sweat dripping down my forehead and my teenage grip won out against her maternal tugging. I turned away, cock still hanging out, and ran down the corridor, laughing maniacally. To this day, I don't know whether she figured it out or not.

Now if that's not funny, I don't know what is...

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