Happy new year, everyone!

Porn Music For The Masses from various talented artists.

Finally! Someone has done it! They've used their musical ingenuity to combine decent tracks with sacuy samples and made something magical! Exclaim!!!

With tracks like Take Me Now, Suck My Disk and the brilliant Give Me Anal Pleasure Please, you just can't not download it (free).

By Dan Brown, the author of The Da Vinci Code.

Well this one is right up my street. Technology, spies, the Internet, killings, Europe... It sure does seem to give a real impression that the author doesnt really know what hes talking about, but it is a real page turner in the middle. Dan sure does like his plot twists, I can tell you!

Sadly, the ending is bitterly disappointing. The best and brightest of the USA are all in one room, the end of the world is seemingly nigh (although only really for the Americans, so I was able to detach myself a little there), and NO ONE knows what an isotope is. Riiight.

They even get a really good clue and keep on wondering what it might mean, pouring over it for about 20 pages when I knew what it meant straight away! And Im 16!

Oh well. It would make a pretty good film, lets leave it at that.

Quote of the book
[fat IT technician commenting on a massive problem that will end the world] Were fucked!
Now THAT made me laugh.

Whoop! It's birthday time for TRC as we celebrate 250 posts!

Over the past few months, these posts have been of questionable quality, but all have had one thing in common: I made them. Some have been pictures, other have been written. The best ones were a mix of the two.

Memorable Posts

At this landmark number, I invite you to take a look at some of my favourite ones. Take a look at: my favourite picture, my very favourite picture, the post that had the most disappointing outcome (it wasn't funny at all) and the post where I was most angry at the time of writing. Ahhh, memories.

Looking Ahead

For your pleasure, I am pleased to be displaying the list of links I have been making selfishly for the past few days. I do a good deal of internet surfing, and I usually don't share many of my finds - until now. You can rest assured that the links will be of the highest quality when I bookmark them. You can't see their descriptions quite yet (and so you might not know my real reason for bookmarking them), but take a look for yourself.

Tomorrow is the end of term fancy dress type day, where people decided to dress up as Superman, Spiderman, or even Christmas puddings.

What, I hear you say, am I going as? Well, I was planning on going as a fireman (Fireman Fin, "the stripping king"), but the costume shop in Cheddar (run by quite depressed and rude-type people, who I suspect to be swingers) didn't have a fireman outfit. When I heard that I nearly shouted, "Don't have one? Don't have one? What do you bloody mean you don't have one? This is a fancy dress shop, isn't it?"

So I had to have a look through their shabby catalogue of togs (ugh, I hate that term), and was recommended the Luftwaffe suit.

What was I thinking?

The second I stepped out of their shabbo door, I realized that I really, really didn't want to go to school dressed as Hitler. I'd bought a moustache and everything. I can honestly say that I find it hard to laugh at something like that, even a good half a century after it happened.

The plan

So I had to improvise. Using some of my comic genius, I texted (ooh new phone!) my friend Rhi who lives down the road. She has a great many skirts, one of which I took home. I will wear tomorrow, with the Nazi uniform, and some fish nets. I'm going for a kind of schizoid look.

There shall be no pictures.

Whoop!

I am the proud new owner of a new Siemens CX65! It's registered with the Orange network, and is totally awesome! It even shows you a picture of who's calling you, and lets you record sounds or your own voice to play as a ringtone! Wow!

I would have stuck a nice picture of it up here but my laptop's going a little slow today.

Or: An Unfortunate Series of Events

It hasnt been a very good day. At all. As I sit here, barely able to type, I can't help but think about how 'orrible this day has been for me.

The Chemistry Test:
Physical Chemistry and Energetics

I thought I was prepared for this one, but it seems not. Unfortunately, question one stumped me entirely, but I was saved later on by a few questions on ideal gasses (graph drawing, equations, etc.). Nevertheless, I didn't enjoyit one bit.

The Maths Test:
Pure 1

Oh, how I havebeen dreading this one. I have revised quite a bit for this, but still (as usual) the questions are beyond me and I'm left not answering about 40% of the paper. Sadly enough, it was the first question of each group that threw me, so I couldn't answer theothers and try to get a higher mark.

The Chemistry Lesson:
Making Crunchie and Becoming a Burns Victim

Ironically, I was joking about becoming a burs victim just before I did this experiment. Why not try it for yourself at home?

Two tablespoons of sugar in a beaker, add water to the 40ml level, add two drops of vinegar, heat until caramelized, ad bicarbonate of soda (sodium bicarbonate), stir intensely while pouring into moulds. If only the last bit were that simple.

As we added the bicarbonate, the mixture froths up quickly. Sadly, too quickly for me to manage. It spilled out of the beaker and onto various parts of my fingers as I was pouring it into the two moulds at around about 200°C. Oh how it hurts. It's actually painful to type now. But don't worry - the crunchie tastes alright.

While trying to track down a very hard to find peripheral thingy for my laptop, I came across a page from IBM that referred to the UK as the United Kingdoms.

I like it. I've never heard it called that before, and I'm glad that they don't call it the United Queendoms. That would surely suck.

Google Suggest is this wicked new feature from Google. Try it out.

Hoo haw! It's online!

Wow. That surely was one of the most entertaining films I have seen all year.

It's fun for the whole family, it's brilliantly animated, and it's something I would certainly recommend you go and see.

I really do hope they make a second one. I just love seeing loads of inconsequent destruction.

Looking ahead

I really like the look of the new film from the makers of South Park: "Team America: World Police." They always seem to come up with something that is really, really funny, and has a decent (and agreeable) moral at the end.

I have just made what could turn out to be the single most logic-defying error I will ever make online.

I was in Buster Tests's cPanel, as I had just received a note saying that the registration process didn't quite work for someone.

I went to check on the MySQL databases through cPanel, where I saw the option to check the database. Unfortunately for me, the button was right next to the 'delete' button, which I pressed. After all, it IS after midnight, and I AM on my laptop.

I was shocked enough just by pressing that, but to my absolute horror, there was no confirmation page. I was simply deleted, and the only back-up (I hope) I have is from when the site was about 50 users strong (it WAS about 110, before my large accident).

This has made such an impact upon me that my hands are now shaking and I can feel the adrenaline seeping though my arteries. I don't like loosing any kind of data (I'm a file hoarder), especially un-backed-up data which I worked very hard to get.

Oh well. I suppose it's nightmares for me tonight.

The camera can't quite capture the true look of the brilliant Blagdon sunrise we experienced this morning, I think you can get the (ahem) picture.

Yes, I too think that Christina and Missi's cover is totally wrong in principle. You just can't beat the grooviness of the original, and the new one is over-produced. It's listenable, though.

Working at the car wash, yeah!
Work and work!

Oh yes! And this time, it's not personal!

Rather, I'm currently trying to develop a kind of corporate site to showcase my web design abilities and to reach new potential customers, and doing so while trying to convince the reader that I am, in fact, a business, and most certainly not a person. It sure is tricky.

Where does one go to write a Christmas list when what one wants is world peace and prosperity, and one's own television show?

That sure is a good question, but I have an even better one, believe it or not. Should I ask for a very brilliant, very hard-to-come-by-in-the-UK album by the rather good Citizens Here and Abroad, Ghosts of Tables and Chairs? The regular file sharing methods are failing me, and sadly enough it would take about a month for Amazon to ship it out to me. Ahh well.

I've just found a rather interesting, if not useful, website on idioms. It's as right as rain!

Don't listen to what anyone says. They're lying. Physics is really, truly, a big load of fun.

Well, not quite. If anyone else out there is studying this subject at A-level, you probably know what it's like to have that horrible sinking feeling during a test which occurs when you really haven't a clue how to answer a question.

Actually, I suppose we all get that. So it's alright, really.

Recently I've been waking up to some amazing views. Here are some of the best.

Feeling down in the dumps because you've just realized that there are only three weeks left until Chrimbo, and you haven't actually gotten anything for anyone yet? Me too.

Ahh well, never mind. Christmas is all about family, and I'm sure mine will appreciate that when I tell them I haven't bought them anything.

Yeah, right.

How to use the Internet for your own seedy pleasure

Why not cheer yourself up with a few of my picks from the internet during this festive season?
Virgin Mobile are doing some brilliant stuff with religion and flash. Hitler's is becoming a respectable disco-führer. Sign up to the fabulous Popbitch email newsletter, full of very, very, very funny stuff (and far better than any of those magazines). Finally, buy yourself (or someone you love dearly) some Ballsies for Christmas.